No Madagascar, No Haircut

In case anyone is wondering about Madagascar - the movie - and my haircut - which I mentioned offline - I did neither. Haircut I looked like a monkey with messy hair, swollen cheek, broken lip and shaky legs after the dental appointment. Tell me if anyone of you dared to enter a hair salon looking like that? Madagascar the movie Airen and I watched Alexander - the rented vcd - till about 2am on Saturday so couldn't wake up early enough to watch Meet the Fockers, - the rented vcd - go for Aquarama and Madagascar. I'm watching Madagascar for free just to piss people who are interested in it but not gonna watch due to the ticket price hike - though I heard it wasn't all that good. Aquarama I stayed at Jurong West, near Boon Lay MRT station. The trip from the westest end of the MRT route to the 2nd or 3rd last eastest end of it was pukable, long and tedious. Had to keep my head down also coz I do not want to give up my seat - I know I'm mean but hey! has anyone counted the number of stations? and remember, this is food fest week, the train is overcrowded - not an easy trip. Er...I was supposed to talk about Aquarama I think but since I'm not a fishy person, think I should leave the description to some other people *hint hint* In summary, we see tanks, fishes big and small, landscaping, BIG machines called chillers, filters etc. Didn't take many pictures because SOMEBODY forgot his camera!! So the pictures here - 3 in fact - are taken from his handphone. Better than nothing I supposed. I was kinda obsessed with this bulging eye gold fish who was in turn obsessed with itself. "Hallo pal, you look kinda duh over there, how about coming over for some soul to soul chat?" There're TVs inside this tank! No kidding!!! I do wonder if the fishes'll get cancer though.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUSTY

This post is dedicated to you, gal - if you're not the gal, back off. If you still are my most loyal fan, Rusty and reads this before you start your daily jobs, I hope I made your day - though I admit that this is also a cheap way to present you with something since money is something I'm so lack of now, refer to previous post for a hint. I'm wishing that you have a better year ahead from this day on. Look at the time now, you're 24 and 1 day old already. Being an adult and a smart one at that - yes, you're a smart gal and you know it - believe me when I say that nobody should ever get you down, including yourself. Live for yourself sometimes - though you might say that you're already selling the fish - nobody can blame you for loving yourself coz there's only 1 of you and plenty of asses around that you can ignore. And of coz, no matter what you say, I'm wishing you find that one great guy soon :) By the way, I'm also hoping that you'll update your blog again. The tug of war has been going on too long you know? Time to put an end to it, blog and all. Your one and only Auntie Agony

Big Right? or Rather the Death of a Particular Wisdom

Surprise people - I got myself surprised too. The dentist exterminated extracted my wisdom tooth on Friday 27th May 2005 at around 4.50pm. You will not know - none of you - how cheated I felt. I was told to visit him on Friday for a x-ray and some minor cleaning therefore not the least prepared for what was to come.

Dr Chong: So? How's the tooth? The medicine worked right? By the way, I might extract your wisdom tooth today. We'll see how depending on the x-ray. Me: ??!!!

At this point in time, I was still convinced that I'll have to come back again for the real deal. But no, my dentist seemed like a determined man, a really determined one at that.

Dr Chong checking the x-ray: Aiyoh! Me in slight distress: ????? Dr Chong: Your tooth is very big leh. You take a look at this (pointing to the x-ray). Big right? Me: ... Dr Chong: But, we'll try to remove it out nonetheless. try...we? you mean you right? I didn't exactly insist on you doing it today you know? Dr Chong: I'll first try to pull it out as if it were a normal tooth, you'll feel pressure, that is all. I'll use strength to move it. If it doesn't barge after a while, I'll stop immediately and we'll do it next time ok? was he trying to convince me of something? anything?

I was worried, nervous, panicking, all of that. I wasn't prepared. Especially not after hearing that my wisdom has grown into an epic size - ok I really meant the tooth. It didn't help that the nurse on duty was equally edgy. First, she couldn't tell the different packs of instruments apart, then she didn't place my goggles properly - don't ask me why I need goggles - next, distressing me further by tell me that the dentist cut by my lip by accident - twice! - which he did not, at least not where she mentioned. There was this point when he was injecting my gum with anesthetic for the 2nd or 3rd time, I breathed so hard into the mirror thingy he inserted into my mouth that he had to remove it, wipe it then try again coz I blurred it. While I on the other hand was fanatically, mumbling unintelligently to him - everything at once with half of my face going numb - that I couldn't feel my nose anymore and I couldn't breathe. Followed by some laughter in the room to make me feel silly. Anyway, when the dentist got down to over stretching the left side of my mouth and apply only PRESSURE, all I could do was to make an earnest effort to stay calm and stop myself from hurting him - ok, the nurse was holding me down which makes me wonder if dentists were ever hurt in the extraction of teeth before. When it was done and me being handed the tooth in a long plastic bag, my hands wouldn't stop shaking - well, neither can my legs. It was embarrassing. The nurse had to bring in a blanket to keep me warm while the dentist off the aircon, all to calm me down in case I fall off the dental chair - whatever you call it. I couldn't stop asking people every hour or so after that, if my mouth had expanded - due to the over stretching, I felt it, I swear! - coz I do admit that I'm have a major paranoia with anything to do with my mouth and the sheer size of it. Alright then, maybe I am a bimbo but I'm no way dumb even if I couldn't exactly talk the next few hours after that. And thanks lor sis, for offering to buy me burgers when I couldn't open my mouth. I always knew I can count on you. Some special thanks to airen for take the pictures and removing the disgusting piece of gum - he says it's glue like - stuck on the tooth, which had already undergone some scientific changes, changing from pink to brown. Oh yah, nice of him to clean it too. Notice that brown line in the middle? That was where a remaining piece of my gum was stuck onto. Somehow, I'm beginning to understand the meaning of tip of the ice-berg. If I said it were a bullet, would anyone believe? Nay. BIG right? That's his thumb and finger. Things somehow have a way of happening. Most people call it coincidences, I call it dreadful. Immediately after I took out the blood soaked cotton wool from my mouth for another, my handphone rang. My long-time-no-see friend from poly dying for some catchups. Guess how long that conversation lasted.

Calling NICE People

I fear for my life sometimes. Wonder if I'll get electrocuted especially with the bad weather these days. This is what has become of my xiaomei's earphones. Nice people out there - or if you think you are nice enough, please remind me to buy new ones. OR...if you're REALLY nice, a sponsorship is always welcome. NOTE: for those who do not know who xiaomei is, she's my ipod.

I'm Sure This Is Remembered

The long anticipated pictures of the BEAN. The container from the doctors. Notice the words? It says "Foreign body from ear" And this says " Returned to parent" Ah...at last, the bean. The red/brownish stains are blood. There was a picture of a tiny dried up leaf alas, I couldn't find it anywhere.

Lesser Known Characters in My Life

This is our family pet, Furbal. The cutest puppy you can ever imagine, also known as One Ball sometimes coz of the lack of a certain male anatomy - no lah actually it's not showing that's all. The foot on the bottom right hand corner is mine and the strange looking creature on the left with panties is his favourite squeaky toy. And this, is my ah ma, the can-walk-like-wind-70-almost-80-year-old. She walks faster than me. Spontaneous picture thus the expression. Till this day, she still believed that I was shooting the aquarium.

Graphical View of Work

Finally. I received these pictures from airen after I don't know how long. Basically a reflection of the current - maybe not so, these pictures were taken sometime last month, so well - state of my office desk. Many other bloggers post them too so I thought why not? My turn now. Xiaomei, the trusty office calculator (for calculating confusing formulas), my cheap purple bottle to keep me from dehydrating, a bottle of coke (when this appears here, it means I'm having a need-coke-day), the orange tooth waaaay at the back stores my sweeties (sugars and fruitella) etc etc The other side of the small office desk, many small Pinky badges, Qoo stickies, post its, complete with programming codes on the screen (I'm trying to look hardworking here though obviously I'm not coz I'm taking pictures!). Aha! The codes! Looks so chim right? Here's what I had on top of the chim chim codes monitor apart from Kleenex. Frankly, it is kinda strange to check out my desk from this point of view. I feel so messy. Maybe I am. The professional projection I tried so hard, failed totally. Damn.

Are You On MSN?

Presenting Many-Sticky-Notes otherwise known as MSN - not the Microsoft version hor, a joint project by Mr Smurfie and myself in an attempt to save the world from the backside of things. Do drop by often and may your fart always be with you - fart around and you'll get stares you know?

Wisdom Properly Exploited

Finally went for my well-deserved dental appointment. Actually, my gums didn't swell as much this morning but I simply refused to go to work coz I'm sick of attending lousy no purpose meetings and arguing logic with the illogical, especially when I'm nursing a toothache. You can say that I planned my escape since last night, I wouldn't care. Would rather suffer at home then at work. The dental appointment freaked me out totally as with other dental related stuff. I was sitting outside waiting for my turn with my legs practically doing tap dancing, complete with the anytime to lao sai feeling from the milo and spicy noodle like thingy breakfast combination. My hairs stood on their ends when I heard drilling noises. Was that from the outside or one of those rooms? It's ok, would rather get scared half to death at the dental clinic than suffer heart attacks during meetings. "Open your mouth a little wider. Open your mouth wider....repeat x 3" the dentist must be a moron - though he is slightly cute. It took him 5 of these open wider statements to realized that "Oh! You can't open any further right?" DUH! Is this your first day at job? Hush now, at least the dentist is cute and not some senile O man. Anyway, the verdict came immediately after 4 serious prodding into my mouth and 2 rinses. He declared that I had a wisdom tooth to be sentenced for elimination extraction, some major swelling on the gums and a giant ulcer caused by it. Will need some painkillers, antibiotics and ulcer gel (complete with small Q-tips for easy application) which will cost me $40 in total, not to mention that it would not be claimable from company medical benefits. At least I'm at home blogging in my room instead of sitting around nervously waiting for meetings not to start. Will need to go back for another 2 appointments - I scheduled 1 next Friday. One to snap a picture of the tooth and the other to extract it - and of coz for the dentist's pay cheque to get fatter for the month. Oh well, anything beats my colleagues - especially Mr Smurfie - suffering in the hands of the Big O now so I guess I should just keep my infected mouth shut. Hail Wisdom.

"Doctor, I can't talk"

I'm suffering from a bad case of wisdom tooth swelling, heatiness - is there such a word? - and ulcer all at the same time, same area in the left side of my mouth. I can't even talk properly now. *BIG SIGH* Had to drink 2 packets of soup just now coz I couldn't open my mouth to eat. Anyway, below is an extract from an email between Airen and myself. I was whining and desperately trying to get an mc.

The Witch wrote: > do u think I can get an mc for my mouth > quite bad lor > I can feel it swelling n I felt really uncomfy Reply from Airen Then go n c doctor lor. Say u cannot open ur mouth 2 tok.

The thing is, how to tell the doctor I cannot open my mouth to talk when I erm...can't open my mouth to talk?

He Finally Blogged

How exciting. Airen finally blogged after all these while - last post by him was 7th Dec 2004. - but why do I feel so cheated? Read ALL about it here.

WHAT THE??

Mr Smurfie on reading this when he came back from lunch said the below.

Mr Smurfie: You're trying to get sick and you went jogging?? Me: Why ley? You mean it will cancel out the effects har? Mr Smurfie: *repeats himself again* Me: Why?? Mr Smurfie: You're supposed to try to get sick and you did something healthy! Did you left your brains in your arse or something like that?

*SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Jogging Diary 170505

Went jogging yesterday lah. Didn't managed to complete the entire round like I used to but at least it's 3/4 of the tiny neighborhood covered. Legs didn't even hurt today. I must be getting better. Will update again the next time I jog - which hopefully will not be 2 years later.

All Things Vibrating

My dear readers, I'm proud to present to you, Vibra and erm...Orange - will get Rusty to come up with a better name for it tomorrow - the cutesy pair of vibrators I bought at Jurong Point yesterday. You read it right, V-I-B-R-A-T-O-R-S. Photo courtesy of Mr Smurfie's blog since he has not sent the pictures to me yet. Thanks hor, pal. However, if you had even for a second contemplated on me leaning toward the kinky then you're so wrong! Shame on you! I bought them coz they were so cute, vibrant colored and says "soothes your nerves" on the packaging - and also coz they well, vibrate. Though I must say that I didn't exactly knew what I was getting into till I pulled Vibra's tail at the interchange. I bought myself a vibrator. Yeah and even got my friend one - such a good friend me. What's more, I'm bringing it to office for some non discreet soothing. Damnit. How do I even start to explain myself? Tashes and Jacqie "EEK!" when I mentioned "bought 2 vibrators" in MSN - yah and finally wanting me to buy for them after I MMS a picture of Vibra to them so I've gotta go get 2 more tomorrow. I wonder if the sales gal would look at me in a perverted view. Mr Smurfie especially has gotten quite smitten with them so much so that he wrote about them, posed them and even took pictures of them. Anyway since we're on the topic of vibrators, look at what I've found.

In 1997, Genyo designed a product that would live in infamy: the Hello Kitty vibrating shoulder massager, which really is a shoulder massager (trust us -- it says so on the package). ~ extract from The History of the Hello Kitty Vibrator.

Apparently if you're really into the kinky, any vibrating thingy will do it for you, from cutesy micey to innocent kitties. And in case you're wondering why the blue one - mine - is called Vibra, think, don't wonder.

Mind your languages when speaking to a kid

Was recounting Sunday's misadventures with my 5 year old niece to Mr Smurfie and he suggested I should blog this as tales of the auntie and her smart mouthed niece.

This shortly happened after the roachy lunch incident in the car. I was sitting in the backseat with her and each time she did some silly things I would go "stupid/idiot" to which she'll tell on me immediately by going "mummy!!! xiaoyi says stupid/call me idiot!".

My sis will then start this little preach on how I should always watch my language in front of kids. Ok fine. I ended up telling my niece off in her type of language which was deemed suitable by my sis. Which means to replace stupid/idiot with "da bian pout pout" (translation of da bian is shit).

And that to them is suitable. *shakes head*

A Plea for Help

This happened yesterday at the foodcourt at IMM during lunchtime. My 5 year old niece totally caught me off guard and degraded me to the bottom of the food chain with me having nothing at all to rebuke back.

My Niece: Xiaoyi, you are a zhang lang! (translation: small aunty, you are a cockroach!)

Please, anyone. What is worse than a cockroach? Let me know so I have something to reclaim back my face ok? Thanks in advance.

Friday 13th 2005

I really didn't know how to start this post but I supposed I have to. I owed it to my buddies and anyone concerned. Really didn't know what to write. The events of that day and the next were as hazy as the thickest London fog - was it London? I couldn't recall as much except for some heart numbing pain. Perhaps my biggest mistake was not reading adult romances, everything seemed so unfamiliar to me. All I knew was to cut the relationship short so that we both would not have to suffer the same pain and regret time after time. I thought I was so cool. Yet, 2 words were what it took and they tore at my heart. I felt so cold when I left the office building that night, not knowing how to go home nor where to go. I simply stood at the side of the road, trying to comprehend my actions, trying to recall where I was going, with tears that wouldn't stop flowing. Never knew that a person could get drowned in tears nor that it could contribute to flu. Not till that day. Whatever the hurt, whatever the pain, now they all just seemed so juvenile. So childish, I feel so ashamed of myself for hurting so many other people on the way. My sis hitted a nerve when she scolded me for being childish and immature. Perhaps, what we need was a sensible point of view from an 3rd party. I thank my sister for being so patient, for lending me her shoulders, for scolding sense, for talking sense, for crying with me. If not for you, sis - though she doesn't know about this blog - I'll still be in bed drowning in tears I never knew I had so much of. Thank you mum - though my mum doesn't read - for being there no matter how much I lash out on you. I'm sorry mum for breaking your heart, for making you worried. I'm really, really sorry. All I wanted was some personal space which I didn't get, not even in the toilet. Thank you, my good buddies, Jacqie for understanding and canceling off the KTV session last minute. I'm really sorry about that. You've been helping me arrange it time and again. Tashes for that very concerned message but I was too tired to return it - though I was already ok at that time. Especially Starusticity for being there for me when I needed a ear or eyes to complain to and being so concerned and supportive. In case anyone bothers to know, I'm trying very hard to start on a book my sis recommended "The 5 Love Languages" - so unlike something I'll ever read but I supposed, sis is right. I have to grow up and I have to start accomdating the other person fully into my life.

My sis: Decide if you can live without this person in your life. If you love him then hold on no matter what the obstacles, else back off. It can be that simple yet so tough a decision. The decision is yours. Make it wisely.

We made that decision to stay together. I'm still unsure if he is the one but for now I know, I would still like him to continue holding my hand.

It can really be that simple

When I look back at all the highs and lows of this 30 month old relationship, this song comes to mind. I'm not exactly a David Tao fan but I thank him for letting me know this, 愛真的可以很簡單. 愛很簡單 - 陶吉吉　　　 忘了是怎麼開始 也許就是對你一種感覺 忽然間發現自己 以深深愛上你 真的很簡單 愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂 是是非非無法決擇 沒有後悔 為愛日也去跟隨 那個瘋狂的人是我 喔~ I LOVE YOU 無法不愛你 BABY 說你也愛我 I LOVE YOU 永遠不願意 BABY 失去你 不可能更快樂 只要能在一起 做什麼都可以 雖然世界變個不停 用最真誠的心 讓愛變得簡單 愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂 是是非非無法決擇 沒有後悔 為愛日也去跟隨 那個瘋狂的人是我 喔~ I LOVE YOU 我一直在這裡 一直在愛你 I LOVE YOU ( YES I DO ) 永遠都不放棄 這愛的權利 如果你還有一些困惑 OH NO 請貼我的心傾聽 聽我說愛你 ( YES I DO) 我愛你

not the one.

Edna Mode would be ashamed

Anyone that needs a cheer today or another day should try looking at this. It's Mr Smurfie's latest cheesy attempt at attempting B Grade celebrity/superhero status. Guaranteed moments of dumbfounded silence or serious laughter. Pick one. I chose the second. And just in case you're still unsure, that Taliban wannabe is him.

I Podding the Radio Song

It's been a long time since I've even bothered to listen to songs other than those that I hear everyday - usually all I need is noise so I wondered why I even bothered. Starusticity had jeered on several attempts and I am ashamed. So many songs, so many of them unheard of. Wanting something loud, I tried Jet's album today, the one that Starusticity lent me but I've yet listened to - its been months. Kinda like this song. The slurry kinda song that so suits my ears. I'm GETting BORN. Artist: Jet Lyrics Song: Radio Song Take a look At what I took A leaf out of everybody's book We see what you can't see I'm caught in a trap of my own Like everybody I know This won't be played on your radio tonight This won't be played on your radio tonight This won't be played on your radio tonight Do you all know Of the emperor's clothes Walking down an empty road We see what you can't see That's not how I wanna be Anyhow, everytime, the same dream This won't be played on your radio tonight This won't be played on your radio tonight This won't be played on your radio tonight This won't be played on your radio Show This won't be played on your radio tonight (oh no) Na na na na na na na na na na na na na

Cursing the Geeky Way

WTF or 01110111011010000110000101110100001000000111010001101
000011001010010000001100110011101010110001101101011

I'm not having a good day, read if you must

01001001001000000111001001100101011
00001011011000110110001111001001000
00011010000110000101110110011001010
01000000110111001101111001000000111
00110110100001101001011101000010000
00111010001101111001000000111011101
11001001101001011101000110010100100
00001101111011011100010000001110011
01110101011000110110100000100000011
00001001000000110010001100001011110
01001011100010000001001110011011110
01000000111001101101000011010010111
01000010000001110100011011110010000
00111001101101000011010010111010000
10000001100101011010010111010001101
00001100101011100100010000001110111
01101000011000010111010001100101011
10110011001010111001000100000011101
00011010000110010100100000011000110
11000010111001101100101001011100010
00000100110001101111011101010111001
10111100100100000011101110110010101
10010101101011001011100010000001000
01001100001011001000010000001100100
01100001011110010010111000100000010
01110011011110111010000100000011100
11011011110010000001100111011011110
11011110110010000100000011011000110
00010111001101110100001000000110111
00110100101100111011010000111010000
10111000100000010101110110100001100
00101110100011001010111011001100101
01110010001011000010000001110111011
01000011001010110111001100101011101
10011001010111001000101110001000000
10101110110100001101111001000000110
00110110000101110010011001010111001
10011111100100000

Sex Anyone?

Being the big blabber mouth that I am today I almost said "sex" when Starusticity was pondering over why the bosses were in such a hurry to knock off today. No, it does not seem so bad only a little kinky to an ordinary employee's mind - if that ever was possible *puke puke* - except that Starusticity was talking to one of them on the phone, me being next to her!

An Endless While Loop?

I "learnt" a new word from the boss this morning. "Recurring" said the digital-whatcha-call-it - name provided by Mr Smurfie - "blah blah blah pronunciation, meaning of word blah blah blah" No, this has nothing to do with my job - as always - nothing to do with any loops either. Just a simple word that apparently I do not know. Makes me look so stupid. For more information, I welcome you to ask me in person. More than willing to demonstrate.

Aiyoh! So fast ah! Since when you become so smart?

Almost said something so mean during meeting this morning when Mr Pink was being explained to about something, which he exclaims "I never heard about this before" - something/a process which we've explained at least twice during meetings and once when I helped him out in his first ever staff training. He took in 10 seconds worth of explaining from a fellow programmer, Mr Angmo and said "oh...I understand now". Luckily for me, my brain works faster than my mouth at that point in time else it would have been really embarrassing. Anyway, 15 minutes later, the "oh...I understand now" turned into some weird case of opposite comprehension coz he started to asking strange questions - as usual. I tried keeping quiet throughout the entire LIVE demonstration of the process by Mr O and Mr Angmo. Keeping a straight face was easy. It wasn't funny anymore when things start getting a little too repetitive. The difficult task at hand was keeping my stupid mouth shut and not blabber further sarcastic remarks. As a matter of fact due to his "I never heard about this before" he concluded that he has never taught/explain this so important work flow during his training from since months ago! No wonder my stock quantity is producing the strangest of all results. I'm wanting to hire a hitman anytime now. Anyone has contacts?

Goliath

For those who have been curious how Goliath-too-tall looks like, take a look at the cute goofy looking bird in the picture. He's like that, only taller - seriously! the resemblance is uncanny, especially the pouty lips. Finally you can put a picture to that name now. Picture take from www.toriq.com

On being a Hitchhiker

In keeping up with the times and the upcoming movie from one of my favourite authors, the late Douglas Adams - who shared the same birthday as me, can you tell that I'm proud of it? - I'm flipping through pages of his books once more, discussing the many smart lines over and over again. Look at what I've discovered. Page 133 of The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. "Hey, will you get this Earthman," interrupted Zaphod. "You are a last generation product of that computer matrix, right, and you were there right up to the moment your planet got the finger, yeah?" Behold the word in bold. Trillian, Trinity. Earth being a computer and people living within the computer matrix itself. A concidence or merely a hitch ride by script writers of the Keanu Reeves movie? Maybe we can now finally give a name to the architect, Deep Thought.

Kingdom of Heaven

After watching the grand movie before arrival of highly anticipated Star Wars, I'm glad to announce that Orlando Bloom really is beautiful though that is beside the point. Religion is a highly flammable topic to tread on despite this being an avenue for my mind's eye. So as a disclaimer here, I have to emphasize that my views are mine alone, I have no wish to rub anyone off the wrong way and the reason why I do not include all religions here is not coz I'm biased against certain of them but coz it's late and I'm really tired so I chose the most evident. For many moments in my life, I often wonder why God would lead Moses to Israel of all places in the world? He could have always turned him left - or is that right? - toward Europe instead of surrounding the Jews with Muslims then letting his son be born right smack in the middle of Muslim surrounded Jews then letting the community get split into smaller bits again and later on started the Crusades and of coz the setting for the movie. As a matter of fact, had I been a Jew living in the years of Christ, I too would have condemned him for reasons obvious. Turning of water to wine, depending on matter of perspective could be viewed as either miracle or blasphemy. For the people who have prayed to Buddha as a God, it does not seemed right either - and to remind the many people who have forgotten, he is an Indian prince, not a Chinese. Too me, Buddhism is more a way of life than a religion, and he is a role model for the path to enlightenment rather than a God to which we pray our wishes to. In fact, I'm one of those few who viewed of him as heartless rather than a kind spirited soul. Afterall, he did leave his family, his wife - child? I can't remember and it's too late to check - to sit beneath a tree. There is another thing I do not understand of priests, monks and nuns. Why do they have to stay chaste? If Gods had wanted us all to be pure of all evil, chaste and kind, we would have all died out within a single generation. And that is their wish? I finally understood why I'm a free thinker - which wasn't exactly by choice coz I simply could not find the right path to follow - I have too much logic. I think too much into everything. Too much analysis. Now wonder I'm a programmer. Logic is my faith and in sense, I place my trust.

The most beautiful feeling...

...in the world - to a working person that is - is to be chased home at 6pm. Too bad that Ms Accounts-Always-Busy promises that there will not be another time. So much for beautiful feelings.

Getting to Know Sue

I just realized that I'm in danger of being sued about 10 minutes ago when I was reading mr brown. All coz I had named statutory boards, "defamated" persons using pink, orange and hell sorts of nicks, posted my pictures, had personal views? Since when has the Internet grown so dangerous to normal people like you and me? I used to think that only viruses, hackers and all that were the tragic dangers of this otherwise free world. It seems not. I don't write chim stuff unlike those blogs that I went to regarding this matter - in fact I gave up reading on quite a few of them coz they wrote lots and went too chim, let's get straight to the point ok? oh no! I just defamate people again - but hey! this whole issue is getting too huge and too much. Technology it seems is making my world smaller each day instead of bigger - and it was supposed to help us accomplish much, see the irony here? - coz there's lots more stuff that I can't do now with laws such as these coming up. There is nothing worse than having the means to do something - blog!! - yet having restrictions - crazy laws - to pull you from from executing the final moves - the publish button, your keyboard and brain. I used to have to just make sure I have my mouth well covered before I yawn make nasty comments and now? Will have to make sure my butt is well covered before I type something too. I started my blog sometime last year just for the sake of having one - tashes created my blog for me and FORCE me into it, ok maybe not - though as time passes, I found the freedom of publishing thoughts, opinions, pictures, sharing them to the world - eversince P2P got kinda illegal - really satisfying, however small my readership is Perhaps I should keep an offline diary - which means shutting down the blog and removing all traces of defamation if that's even possible - instead coz even anonymity online isn't all that safe or easy. Perhaps not coz I can't write - this sad person can only type coz I'm a programmer. Oooops! Am I allowed to mention that? Anyway, before I finish up, can somebody please tell me if an offline diary passed back and forth my small community would be a more feasible idea? And if I were to name statutory boards, "defamate" persons using pink, orange and hell sorts of nicks – or gasp! real names, pasted my pictures and had personal views, would I still get sued? Heck! With laws - popping up every other day somemore - and all that crap, where the hell are my personal rights now?

Double status reinstated as at 19:32 pm 03 May 2005

Officially single as at 15:26 03 May 2005.

The Wrong Way Home

I admit. I cannot count. Get me a calculator and still I miss some figures. But what is wrong in wanting a home? In wanting freedom? What is living under parental roof but an extension of the umbilical cord? For me, it would have been a transfer from 1 mother's to another. Like a bird still living within the parent's care when what I would have wanted was to build my very own nest. To feed and not be fed. To soar toward independence. That is my life long ambition. A goal I thought I see it coming only to be dampen time and again. Each time the nearer, each time the more painful. Each time I get stepped on, each time I felt more invaded. No reasons good enough. Nothing but unfairness would enter my ears. I would not step away from my decision, my stand. I would not be swayed. For it is my life, my concern too. I would not bear to rest beneath another's place. Never at ease. Never at peace. Always a few steps away from home.

What am I but an ambitious bitch?

Indecision about decisions long made. Worries of something which many have overcome. All these and more. My ambition of this lifetime is dashed.

Reflection

A somewhat reflection of time and situation. Not entirely, at least partly. The painful words that spoke to me. Hurts like needles to the skin coz I simply do not understand. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I still am. 倒帶 詞：方文山　曲：周杰倫 我受夠了等待　你所謂的安排　 說的未來到底多久才來　 總是要來不及　才知道我可愛　 我想依賴而你卻都不在 應該開心的地帶　你給的全是空白　 一個人假日發呆　找不到人陪我看海 我在幸福的門外　卻一直都進不來　 你累積給的傷害　我是真的很難釋懷 終於看開　愛回不來　而你總是太晚明白　 最後才把話說開　哭著求我留下來 終於看開　愛回不來　我們面前太多阻礙　 你的手卻放不開　寧願沒出息　求我別離開 你總是要我乖　慢慢計劃將來　 我的眼淚卻一直掉下來 過去怎麼交代　你該給的信賴　 被你親手緩緩推入懸崖 從我臉上的蒼白　看到記憶慢下來　 過去甜蜜在倒帶　只是感覺已經不在 而我對你的期待　被你一次次摔壞　 已經碎成太多塊　要怎麼拼湊跟重來

Once again, too late...

...in fact a many steps too late. As I tried to present pictures of proof of the mysterious shrimp birth - where all the babies eventually disappear, I've been told that 2 more of them have moved on to the next watery world. Here, I give my condolences to airen who must be feeling extremely upset as he flush their tiny bodies down the bowl. Notice the tiny brown round spots from beneath the abdomen?
The eggs.