First Touch of Romance

My concussion a few years ago seemed to wiped some small parts of my memory. Recently, they're slowly coming back in pieces. I will try my very best to record them down bit by bit, in hope that one day, if they do get lost again, there is a place that still holds them. Seeing my niece growing up and entering her teens, brought certain images to my mind. I remembered that I was early into my teens, just starting secondary one I think. Everybody around me seemed to know what to do except me. I'm that awkward short teenager transported suddenly into an unknown world. Everybody was starting to look at guys, to talk about romance and so on. Apart from TVs I really don't know what else to except. Upon hearing that my classmates are reading romance stories, I just had to find out for myself to get into the crowd of things. I rummage my sis's old books (she's 13 years older) and found a few that looked like what I should be looking for and started reading them. Next, in order to try to be hip and cool, I went alone to Queensway shopping centre - something which I've never done before coz it's not exactly near my home - to find a certain second hand bookshop. Standing alone, not daring to let people find me browsing around in the romance section, I tried my best to dig out some romance books to bring home. It took quite awhile though coz having no experience whatsoever in choosing them, I was distressed at facing a whole shelf of pinkish colored books. Anyway, it didn't take me much time to get over this genre of books, 2-3 years I think - am I wrong or is that a long time? I still read, no longer romance though. I shy away from them now that all that teenage peer pressure is gone. Perhaps it's just not me to read them but that's still my very first touch with romance.

Emergency 995

My ipod dropped!! My xiaomei fell onto the floor!! What did I do? I tripped over the cable slightly and it dropped!!! ARGH! I deserved to fall, not her. Not her, never her. Why her????????????????? *wails*

Long anticipated tutorial building

Past memories have been invading my mind quietly piece by piece lately. This small piece managed to make me smile. Nothing spectacular only small lame wishes a bunch of late teens in Poly can have. There was this particular block of tutorial building connected to my school (School of Information Technology & Applied Science). My class has never ever had a single lesson there before thus having no reason to be there at all. We've been curious. Not all that curious but thought it'd be great if we can have lessons there instead of the rooms in the normal/main building. This building is kinda built as an extension 2 the main building thus sticks out of the original flat structure, making a T shape if you look at it from the sky. Finally in the 2nd semester of year 2 - I think - we had 1 particular tutorial in that building. Most part of my class is totally excited thinking about it. We arrive there slightly early, making a fool of ourselves as usual outside the tutorial rooms (they're not opened usually unless you intercepted it immediately after a class comes out of it) waiting, waiting for the tutor to arrive so that we can complete this unusual and highly anticipated experience. The tutor came soon after. We went into the room, sat down, carried on tutorial as per normal, nothing unusual. After subsequent tutorials in the building, "Aiyah! Why must the tutorials be here? So far away!" are the thoughts that flooded our young minds.

HOORAY!

I HAVE COMPLETED PIZZA FRENZY!!! Been to mars and done it!

Bothersome Question

When will my boss remember I'd have to breathe?

Widening Passageway

It's strangely quiet today. The outside world are having their weekly tedious Monday meetings, which is none of my business. Tashes is gone. The air feels different and a bit cold. The femininity of this inside world is gone with her as well. The reality of it only smack me in the face this morning when I came in to notice the neat and sparklingly clean desk next to me - Tashes is never neat, which is a comforting sense in itself. I hate too neat areas. I miss the Monday morning chatting and updating of the weekend that just ended - we did it every morning actually. Came out of O's room just now with yet another piece of paper and some grumbles in my head, realized as I was reaching my room that my support group in the room - consisting of the grand total of 1 - is no longer there. I switched my path and head for starustcity instead to bother her. She's a bit far though. A bit far, a bit too far. *sighs* Further awareness came into light when I came back from the pantry. The passageway between the entry and my seat is amazing wide - I did not lose weight.

Opportunities

Its strange sometimes that opportunities happen to those who don't ask for it and don't need it - constantly! While those who wait are left waiting. Edited~6.44pm. Someone who's waiting finally got a phonecall.

A bit of bitching, just coz I want to

N is wearing what looks like pajama pants today - blue not exactly very long with stripes in very pajama like material and design. I wonder if I should stick my nose up in disgust at her fashion sense if they weren't what they seemed. Or, envy her privilege for being able to wear something so comfy to work, IF they were.

12 - 1

An hour long lunch suddenly seemed too long when you're waiting for a reply.

Haunting Mails

Freaked out by EMAILS!!!

Emails for Remembrance' Sake

The below are a series of emails sent back and forth to Tashes when I was on leave from work. Since Tashes is leaving us this Friday and misses these emails, I shall post them here to bring her little smiles whenever she needs them. Dear Ms Lee, I am rather distressed to hear news of the weather forecast. I sincerely hope that the tsunami will cease and return the clear skies to the residents of your island. I myself am praying for blue skies and white clouds too. I just hope that it is not too much to ask for. If we stood together and pray sincerely, I wonder if the clear skies would return? Ms Lee, I hope that you can understand my situation here. If I had the power to deport some poor Old man and womaN to certain deserted Paradise by the Ocean, I would have done so long ago and cut the Bridge that would lead them back to Asia. The witch in fact is looking for a way to deport instead, to another island to escape the turbulence of this place. I'm sending my pigeons out and hoping that they return with good news for a better tomorrow. I truly hope to release a white dove someday. Updates from this side of the country. Just when I thought I'm starting to understand THE REASON of life, it turned out to be nothing but a disappointment because try as I might, it can neither be torn nor RIPPED by any normal means. I am left with nothing but distraught and a lighter wallet. Best Regards, A witch you know -----Original Message----- From: Tashes Sent: Tuesday, December 28, 2004 3:14 PM To: Witch's Brew Subject: Re: A Witch's Brew given that i'm a duckie (and half-dead too), i'm worth less than a hundred!! darn im cheap. i need witch's brew (the rich takes ginseng, while cheap duckies depend on witch's brew for survival), more more more! to keep me awake! *YAWN* btw don't bother hurting some poor Old man and womaN, just deport them to some Paradise by the Ocean and let them live happily ever after there. weather forecast for early next week: the initial prediction of clear skies has been destructed by the tsunami, the skies are forecasted to be gloomy, with heavy downpours and thunderstorms. the residents of my island are left devastated. ----- Original Message ----- From: Witch's Brew To: Tashes Sent: Tuesday, December 28, 2004 2:45 PM Subject: RE: A Witch's Brew Dear Ms Lee, I am pleased to hear that you loved receiving my witch's mail and am glad to know that you are alive, not kicking any nearby buckets yet. I was terribly afraid that you might delete this mail of regard, thinking that it was a virus of some sort. And since you've survived the ordeal, I believe the hats must have found their true home and purpose in life now. Some minor updates from my side again since the last witch's mail. I've gone through my HOPES AND FEARS and enjoyed it quite well though I'll probably need a bit more time to dig deeper into my inner soul to truly enjoy what hopes that I might still have - Fears are a thing for the next day and true enough, the next day might drive me to the deepest of all hell. Someone out there please bless me with the strength to endure stupidity else I shall have to pray for others' salvation, in the event that I blew it and hurt some poor old man and woman. On a last note, please refer to the attached file for your own entertainment purposes and I would be pleased to hear more updates from you. Best Regards, Again, a witch you know. -----Original Message----- From: Tashes Sent: Tuesday, December 28, 2004 2:15 PM To: Witch's Brew Subject: Re: A Witch's Brew hahhahahahahahahaaa i love recving witch mail!! btw, i survived! ----- Original Message ----- From: Witch's Brew To: Tashes Sent: Tuesday, December 28, 2004 1:44 PM Subject: A Witch's Brew > Dear Ms Lee, > > I have no other means to contact you not daring to connect to the Media'S > Network that we always used thus, decided to use this most conservative > method other than sending a pigeon down to you. > > Through my certain contacts, I've got to know that you were dragged out > against your wishes to endure certain terrible ordeals. Here, I give you my > most sincere sympathy. > > Some updates from my side, the Witch is unable to brew up a retail storm > today due to circumstances at home but have acquired yet another Audio > Compact Disc. The first disc bought yesterday signifies my HOPES AND FEARS > and the one today tells THE REASON why I'm still living till this day. > > Lastly, stay strong and pass this day safe and sound. > > > best regards, > A witch you know. >

Lazy Eyes

Realization can smack you right in the face sometimes. When Tashes mentioned absently to me yesterday that her 1 normal eye's degree is getting higher and higher due to her other lazy eye. I started understanding why my degrees are getting lower. I have 2 lazy eyes!

OT Fridays

On my way out from the loo, I've suddenly come to realize why I always work OT on Fridays. My boss likes to start things nice and fresh on a Monday. Coz of that, my weekends would start later. Officially for me, they start at 6.01pm every Friday.

Carbon Copies

I'm beginning to understand why certain people do not read emails and why they are clueless when I said "but I cced a copy to you". My boss is spamming my account, AGAIN. This time they're not direct emails addressed to me but cc copies. The ironic part is, there is no need for me to know anything and I'm as clueless as a donkey to what he's actually talking about. 1. I do not have the new accounts system installed so there is no way for me to even vaguely understand his problems. 2. Even my user manual -with my name on it- is missing in action. Borrowed by a certain Mr Pink for about a month. It's back on my table now though it was I who found it lying under a stack of useless papers on his desk when he's out. I've got that bad feeling that either he's totally forgotten about and is too lazy to return it. My name on the manual has been changed from pencil written to blue marker written for emphasis. 3. I do not understand accounts apart from knowing that it has to balance on both sides. 4. Though I'm a programmer, it's so obvious that I can't do anything to this system coz it's bought and I do not see their codes??? 5. I have no contacts to any one of the people in that company addressed to.

From 1 book to many others

I'm kinda liking this book, Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess' Stardust: Being a Romance Within the Realms of Faerie. I'm a fan of Neil Gaiman and have already possessed Star Dust but I'm liking this one too. I've read that it's a book with "absolutely stunning illustration...is a REAL SHAME not to purchase a copy with those illustrations"...but I'm also hoping to add the following -and a whole lot of cute chinese picture books- to my need-to-purchase list of books too. I've such dilemma. Order by no means of precedence. 1. American Gods - Neil Gaiman 2. Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions - Neil Gaiman 3. Shadow March - Tad Williams 4. New Spring (A Wheel of Time Prequel Novel) - Robert Jordan 5. Elizabeth and Mary : Cousins, Rivals, Queens - JANE DUNN 6. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling 7. The Life of Elizabeth I - ALISON WEIR 8. Wars of the Roses - ALISON WEIR 9. First Meetings : In the Enderverse - Orson Scott Card 10. A Feast for Crows - George R. R. Martin 11. Marvel 1602 - Neil Gaiman 12. Prophecy: Child of Earth - Elizabeth Haydon 13. Destiny : Child of the Sky - Elizabeth Haydon 14. Elegy for a Lost Star - Elizabeth Haydon 15. Requiem for the Sun - Elizabeth Haydon 16. Great Tales from English History : The Truth About King Arthur, Lady Godiva, Richard the Lionheart, and More - Robert Lacey 17. Marion Zimmer Bradley books 18. The Eyre Affair: A Novel - Jasper Fforde 19. ...and many others that I do not have enough time to list them all out coz lunch time is finally over. Something to note though, I'm not exactly a fan of hardcovers coz I have neither the cash nor the strength to cash and carry them home. Dear loved ones and/or any kind souls who'd like to donate to this delightful cause, please note that the above mentioned book titles are a list of books that I'd like to have somehow or another in my library someday. They however do not account for my birthday wishlist coz I've still not decided whether it's gonna be books or maybe another juicy tube from Lancome or some other bimbotic stuff. Ha!

Wishlist

Number 1 in my to do list, is to draw up a wishing list. A wishing list consisting of the birthday presents that I want. It's getting kinda tough coz I'm wanting so many things, shallow and deep. I'm not sure what is/are the politically correct thing/s that I should be wishing for now. I'm running out of time, considering that I've not physically ran in the last 6 months. My birthday is 23 days away. On a last note, I'm officially 9474 days' old. Here's a simple one liner that you can use to calculate yours just in case you're interested. numofdays = DateDiff("d", "11-mar-1979", Now)

Clueless

If bimbos were considered dumb, am I a real bimbo considering the fact that I'm still clueless to many bimbotic stuff such as comestics and skincare? If a bimbo has such terrific knowledge to them, are bimbos still dumb then?

Contradiction of Sorts

It's been a particularly tough time for me. I'm putting on weight and putting my books -unread- into my cabinets, making my cabinet overweight. If there's something particularly bimbotic about me, it must be my tendency for clothes, shoes and all that stuff lately which probably comes hand in hand with the fact that I had just cleared off some serious study loan. Retail therapy has been my excuse for heavy spending for about 2 months now, how long more can such a lame excuse last? I supposed my sub conscious mind has probably prevented my weight loss by urging my usually semi conscious mind to constantly eat junk and sleep long, all for a grander purpose. To help curb my expenditures. Putting on weight means I'll stop shopping for nice stuff to put on myself coz NOTHING is ever gonna look nice on a 1.5m tall plump gal of 25 soon turning 26 now!!! Erm...maybe I should thank it. However, there is also the question of a change of wardrobe now that everything around me -be it nice or yucky- is getting tighter, which equals to money spent again on things that are not gonna look so nice anymore. GOSH! The whole world feels cramp now. I'm even starting to think that pavements, pathways are getting narrower but that is another matter, or is it? The other side of me, the perhaps not so bimbotic part is also getting its therapy. I'm back to reading my books again. On last count, I've about 20 books left untouched or half read -or well, a quarter read- and I'm still itching to buy more. In fact I've just bought 1 more last Friday, Marie Antoinette - I'm Fantasy, Sci-Fi, History, Mythology kinda gal and am into royal histories now. Armed with thoughts of feeding my emotional and erm...intellectual soul, I now put away 1 hour a day at least for reading -something I learnt from the royal princesses in books. I'm not sure if it's helping though but my dark rings do seemed to be getting darker. Since last night, I've learnt the sadness of royal princesses shipped to be married to another royalty like goods and abit more of the Marie Antoinette's childhood, perhaps my dark rings are worthwhile. Hopefully, in time, I'll learn to be strong, to be a woman independent, from my books and of coz the ultimate reason, to clear my uncompleted reading list so as to shut my boyfriend up. Finally of coz, to be able to spurge on them again without guilt. The bimbotic side fears weighty issues and attempts to minimize pores, clear pimples and dreadful dark rings while the bookwormy side carries on to create more pimples, darker rings and bigger pores by reading till wee hours with satisfaction. Such contradiction.

Happy Valentine's Day

Let today be a simple day. Let it fly past 6 without delay. Please, please let me have my say. For its Happy Valentine's Day.

Poly Faces

I've got a sudden urge to see my poly friends. To relive my poly days, to remember how much I love them. I can see their smiling faces, hear their lame jokes and crazy laughter. It's all so vivid as though it were the yesterdays again. If I can relive my past, I would go back to those days and only those days, good or bad.

Spam Mails

I'm being harassed . My mind is still unable to adjust to this mental shock. Please tell me its all a big joke. *Helpless laugh* Please tell me there's a camera in front of me detailing my every expression coz I can't imagine having to go through emails of nonsensical requests - and sometimes non requests - from my boss everyday. I wonder if I can block spam from my outlook express.

Of Pizzas and More Pizzas

Referring to the previous post, the choice was tedious but I'm glad I made it well. I installed first the game then move out of the bridge for some pipping hot - well not exactly - Rocky's Pizza. I feel satisfied and well fed. *grins broadly* All I'm lack of is a refreshly sweet, ice cold drink to wash it all down and I'm seriously lack of it. We all are. Plain water sucks. It so sucks the pizza taste and goes so not well with it. Played Pizza Frenzy immediately after. It's so funky!! haha I'm hooked. So hooked on games. What's next, what's next? What more is there to conquer after I complete this? What other empires after this Pizza chain?

Pizza Choices

Lunch break games are the latest craze. Or rather I should say the latest disease. Thought killing, physically draining, dreaming invading. That's what they do to me and it all started with a simple game called Feeding Frenzy. Then went on to Insane Aquarium, Betty's Bar, Superstar Chefs, Diner Dash, Digby's Donuts and what now, Pizza Frenzy. I'm hungry. We ordered Rocky's Pizza today. Rocky's on the table, fresh from the stove, smelling good. I'm hungry but I'm desperate for some other pizza fun too. Caught between 2 pizzas not knowing which to choose.

Satisfaction Guaranteed!!

Diner Dash is finally completed - at home. Earned $60,000++ in the last level and didn't take much time at all once I got the hang of it.*flaunting* Time to start sourcing for another game now... *yawns* *flaunting again*

Lawrences of Something, Something

Each time I meet a new irritation in my life, I'll always tell myself. If I can handle and stand this person well enough, I'll be able to handle anything in life. Throw anything at me and I can take them all - coolly. There were a couple of more significant ones. As I mentioned, each time I meet one, I thought this was the ultimate, only to be surprised yet again by another one. Perhaps, it's time I understand a very simple logic. There's never an ultimate. All irritations are born unequal and different. They come in different faces, shapes, sizes, age and occupation. There was Lawrence something something from Poly. He liked me then. Not that I should dislike him for that or anything but he did made himself a complete asshole by driving everybody to the walls, trying to find out I like and what I don't. Ok Lawrence from then, I don't like you. That's what I don't like. Anyway, he's not so much of an irritation. A minor one as compared to others but a significant one for me at age 18. Next there was Lawrence something something - another Lawrence - from work. There were a few more Lawrences at work but this is the one that stood out. He's about 15 years older than me - I was 22 then. Earns 600 more than me and in a way works under me. He listens to no instructions. To learn how to configure simple lotus notes, he copies, print screens etc etc while I sit next to him, explaining, explaining, explaining. The above was repeated at least 5 times on different occasions. The above as in me teaching and him copying, printing screens and etc etcs. I screamed into the phone at him once when he refused instructions again. That was however not the end. He never dies, he persisted. He never does his work. All he does is email. Sending them to the entire world informing them that he does not know how to do certain things or things should not be done by him. The lesson I learnt, how to write official emails for each task I did and how to cc people without feeling thick skinned. Now there is another. For some reason his name is not a Lawrence something something. I'm surprised but maybe he is. Maybe some people do call him that. Here, we call him Mr Pink. An endearing name for a person of Lawrence something something calibre. His antics are much more than the 2 Lawrences combined. The worse thing is I feel as if I'm bullying him each time he gives the oh-so-innocent-blur look. Mr Pink, I'm not your mother. Try that on someone else. I'm going to be as zen as I can the next time you piss me off coz I know if I do not learn the art of zenning soon, I'll be nothing but a piece of burnt out coal pretty soon.

May The Blessed be Unblessed

I feel so mean. It's like trying to sabotage a person. Not really it just seems like. But I'm so sick of giving my instructions over and over again, explaining tons and tons of times, only to be answered by a "huh?!" or a *mumble mumble mumble* Times like this, I wish my knuckles were bigger and legs longer. All I want to do is to knock his big, empty head real hard, yelling "READ YOUR DAMN EMAILS AND GO BACK TO SCHOOL IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH" into his ears. I'm not supposed to know that he didn't follow instructions well at all. My ears are being blasted loud into. Xiaomei singing in Jap this time. I didn't happen to hear his yet again incompetence. Whatever might happen, if justice exists, will happen. I'm just not doing extra to get him out of trouble yet again. I'm so wrong to hope for his doom. But then, it's might be too much to ask. Coz who can guarantee that he'll ever get into trouble? Blessed idiotic fellow.

It's A Men's World

Tashes is leaving!! - How many times do I have to repeat myself? She's really leaving. I feel myself slowly turning into a man. A manly man. Surrounded by stupid men. Becoming the man in the company of these men. The one desperate to get things up and running. I used to be surrounded by men too. That was when I first came. They were fun. They treated me as one of them. Didn't feel like a man though. Just felt like one of the guys. They were kind to me, took care of me and made sure I had all areas of work covered. The men left. A gal arrived in their place. She in turn brought other gals along. Gals lingering outside our bridge. Never having the chance to come in for interaction. The bimbo group of four was born. We had fun. Nobody really took care of anybody but we were for each other. There was a man too. A man that joined immediately after the gal. He was not worth mentioning. There was never a time I can mention him without trying not to burst a few veins. Then one of the gals left. The 3 of us left, tried having fun and we did. Though the regular soup parties, msn chats, peer pressuring blog updates were really missing in action. These activities instead were replaced by daily game breaks at lunch. Now that the gal within the bridge is leaving. I feel hints of emptiness slowly creeping up to me. The skies are turning gloomy. I'm compelled to be silent. To be the man in this manly world.

Daily Milestones

Everyday, I look forward to 2 milestones. One at 12pm and the other at 6pm. One towards Diner Dash and the other towards home and dinner. Tashes looks forward to 4 milestones daily. At 11am, 12pm, 3pm and 6pm. 11am and 3pm to fax something and to wake her up temporally. And the other 2 are similar to mine. As for Starusticity, I'm sure they're the same as mine too.

Diner Dash

Diner Dash the game is my life now. I dream about it once when I was in my sleep. I opened my eyes, to scratch my hand then closed them again to carry on "playing". This is also the reason my blog has been empty so long. I'm spending almost whatever free time I have in the office playing it. Even playing it when my boss is standing right in front of me talking to my fellow colleagues. Well, as long as I don't get caught red handed. Anyway, I'm at level 6 of the 5 restaurant now. 4 more levels to go and I'll be able to sleep well at night now. I heard the goal for the final stage is $45,000. I better play harder.