Love Hate Relationship

I have a love and hate relationship with this darn place. I hate it, hate it, hate it. That was yesterday.

I hate the mean twilight zone that separates us from them that clearly lacks of warmth. I hate being ruled by indecisive, tyrannical rulers with the ability to smile through a lie and a knife in hand. I hate having to be blamed for shattered pieces of china broken by the very one who broke it. I hate seeing innocents traumatized and transforming into pushovers. I hate not being allowed the use of my brain upon entry through its doors. I hate the moronic nitwit, I'm slowly turning into. I hate desperately remaining my cool at every single knife cut directed at my veins. I just hate. I love and that was an hour ago. I love being able to do the job that I want to do. I love the negligible bit of kindness shown to me. I love the stupidity of people with the inability for simple comprehension, which makes me laugh. And of coz, the friends I made here, I love.

Home Sweet Home

The time is 21:10 I'm finally able to go home. Work is not totally completed but at least...

Overtime

I amaze myself sometimes by doing the things I do. In this case, I blog. The time is 20:10. I've not knocked off coz I'm struggling to correct a major mistake that I so carelessly made - don't ask Yet, here I also am, blogging. Blogging is my salvation.

I Lost It

Call it PMS, call it stress, call it whatever it might possibly be. No excuses. No reasons. I simply lost it. I screamed, I yelled, I walked out of this stupid place, only to find myself squating in front of a cargo lift, yelling vulgarities at the top - not exactly, I can be louder, I know - of my voice. How much lower can those people get? How much lousier can this place get? How closer knitted can the rest of us get in relation to the meanness of this place? How more united can we get to escape the clutches of this mean place together? The white envelope in my drawer stares at me every single day. Screaming in silence, waiting to get out, dying to be seen. There in the drawer, it awaits. There in my drawer, lies my destiny.

Strange

How do you define the word strange? Strange coz you do not understand or strange coz it does not understand you?

Blogging

Tashes and I concluded that we put in most effort during blog breaks. It's the only time when you're see us really really serious and concentrating. Happy concentrating, not forced concentration. Conclusion. We're bloggers, not workers.

Languages

When u dislike a person, your body, face, speech and tone will all speak the same language. That is obviously different from him.

Black Angus

We went to Black Angus last night thanks to Starusticity's wonderful recommendation. It was a nice and cosy place unlike the one we went to last October 27th -let's call it E - which was just plain costly. Though E had a better ambience considering that it was 72 storeys above our normal ground, the duck I had, suck and I can clearly identify its name as Steve. Airen's steak was a small pathetic piece of meat in the middle of a big huge plate. I remember us feeling strangely and extremely hungry taking the lift down after the pocket bursting meal. Black Angus was nice. We were well fed. It was more of jeans bursting rather than pockets. We didn't have to worry about having to say "Oooops! Erm....erm...sorry." if we drop our forks. All nice and relax, fed (not fat!!) and happy.

Flowers

Received some sunflowers this morning from my one and only airen - how I wish there were more. The huge bouquet of flowers caused a small hooha for a while this morning. The gals in the office were teasing and envying. It was nice, a nice bright shade of many yellow flowers - I like sunflowers they always seemed to be smiling - though from afar at first, I thought they were chrysanthemums ooooops The only problems were 1. where to place it - the only place I can think of is the dustbin coz it's really too heavy 2. how to carry it without crushing it into bits n pieces on the bus later 3. how to avoid stares when carrying it later Finally, a decision was made. My bro - working next door - will drive my flowers back. So good bye flowers and say hello to a much bigger table space.

24 months

24 months of torture, screams, fight, tears and laughter. 24 months of standing by each other. 24 months and still counting.

Stress

I'm stressed. Too many things. Too short deadlines. Too many deadlines. Will I still be able to see tomorrow's day light?

Sunday Morning

It's Sunday Morning. Why am I not happy? I'm having a flu but that's not the point. It's 15 hours to the next day. Monday blues on a Sunday Morning. Why am I not surprised?

Jinxed

I'm jinxed. I really am. Anything that can possibly screw things up would happen. Juz coz i'm in charge. Trouble is brewing. I can smell it from here. I wonder when I'll really and finally break down. I hate this place. I'm so tired.

Silence

It's a graveyard here. Tashes' not around. Rusty has gone to the shops. The outside world consisting of only Ms Veggie and Jacqie is busy but quiet. Extremely quiet. No, not extremely quiet, there were strange noises at certain times. Some blurping, swallowing, coughing sounds. Overall, still quiet.

Bimbos Again

Conclusion Bimbos are not evil coz they're too stupid to be. Bimbos are deaf or rather they only hear what they want to. Bimbos are forgetful they even forget their own names sometimes to be continued... "Photoshop is a bimbo too! I type in 4 words and 2 go missing!!" - Tashes Posh & Refined Bimbo

Definition of Bimbos

It's a fact we're a group of bimbos or wannabes. Starusticity is a bimbo. She stuffs cheap china brand sand paper like toilet paper in her bra for confidence. Tashes called herself posh and refined bimbo - whatever?? can you really find a posh and refined bimbo?? huh??? Fion is a total blur bimbo who needs a confidence boost in certain areas. I'm a bimbo, the mitenite blur 1. Note: Tashes is a busy bimbo today but still a bimbo - how wonderful *"Cute" bimbo actions*

Coffee Snacks

Tiz already the next morning and can you believe it? I'm still very very awake - have not even yawned once since 11am yesterday. All coz of 1 small box of coffee chocs...

Tried and Tested, Try and Test now?

I heard... by writing "I weight xxKg etc etc" for 40x a day continuously...for 21days... You'll get your preferred weight in no time. It's a physiological thing you see. Here goes... I weigh 40KG.....x40 I earn $60,000 per annual...x40 My boyfriend is dropdead gorgeous...erm....hmmm......ahem....*scratches head* ok I give up on the last one.

True Blue

It's confirmed. I'm a bimbo wannabe. There's no doubt in this. I spelled midnight blue, mitenite blur. I can't figure out how to use a digi cam. I'm still medicore at Friendster. I sing Aaron Kwok's Dui Ni Ai Bu Wan + actions. I strive to upgrade myself. To dye my hair midnight blue. So I can be a true blue instead of a wannabe.

working part 2

I'm on a roll today
so much so that you won't know I'm working, msning or blogging haha

the sound from the keyboard sounds all the same and the speed's almost the same too
ah....music

New Nicks

I dislike Rusty's new nick - starusticity It's so long. Why can't she remain an aeon? The nick is short and letters so near each other on the keyboard. so ergonomic

Evil Extracts from MSN

Please note that , the princess of neverland, is zenning is referring to Tashes and PeePo HopPo BimBo is referring to myself. i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaa i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: madnessssss i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: but ya if the guy poof, u ll c my face BLACK............like BLACK BLACK BLACK PeePo HopPo BimBo says: I think yesterday Jacqie or Ms Veggie - I think - asks if Mr Pink shows any temper 2wards us hahaha my answer was if he did, u wld hav seen a big huge fight here i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: I seriously wld i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: yaaaaaaa lor.....two of us........wah he ll b in bruises n bandages man i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: IF he dare flare up at any of us haaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: hahahaha n dun 4get, he's tall so he'll hav 2 bend down 2 get us PeePo HopPo BimBo says: then he'll trip i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: n fall i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaa i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: STOP IT LAH PeePo HopPo BimBo says: n we'll step on his stomach i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: v hard to laugh without sound. PeePo HopPo BimBo says: then jump on it i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: v pain.......... i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: then punch his nose i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: i want to kill u instead nw haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: n I'll push all his ciggies in2 his mouth i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: i can actually visualise tt crappy scene (darn im lame too) PeePo HopPo BimBo says: n light ALL of them i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: u r maddddddddddddddddd i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: damn it, write this into ur blog k i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: well.....my brain is wif me now PeePo HopPo BimBo says: not at the door i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaa hahhahahhahahhahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: if he reads this, i dunno if he ll laugh/cry/faint haaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: ok I'll leave dis window open n copy everything 2 my blog at blog time - ahem I mean lunch time i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: heeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee PeePo HopPo BimBo says: hmmm........dat's a bery gd question i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: yay 7mins to lunch!!!! i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: v happy day PeePo HopPo BimBo says: wanna ask him later? i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: hahaaaaaaaaa he ll probably nt b able to digest all ur detailed information........he ll need TIME..mebbe e whole lunch break haa.. PeePo HopPo BimBo says: "ahem! Mr Pink if we were to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX u, will u luaff, cry, b mad or faint or others? pls choose at least 1 option. thank you." PeePo HopPo BimBo says: "oh?! u mean u dun understand me?? nvm I'll repeat myself another 5x again juz 4 u" i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: darn. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........we r SO mean. PeePo HopPo BimBo says: lalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa PeePo HopPo BimBo says: u wan me 2 start 2 practise my singing now?? i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: lalallala is mine oh no nw u r lalalla-ing too! i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: ok tonite lets go ktv n jus lalala lalala the whole nite away PeePo HopPo BimBo says: hahahahaha LAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! PeePo HopPo BimBo says: yah yah yah!!! i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: make sure no one gets e mikes but us. jus lalalalalalalalla lalalllalala. PeePo HopPo BimBo says: hahahahaha PeePo HopPo BimBo says: sure sure hahaha PeePo HopPo BimBo says: can't wait 4 blog time PeePo HopPo BimBo says: I'll make sure Rusty n Jacqie read my blog later!! i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: yay 2mins! PeePo HopPo BimBo says: YES! PeePo HopPo BimBo says: BLOG TIME!!! i, the princess of neverland, is zenning. says: YAY

working

I’m working today! I actually am. I can’t believe myself and I don’t remember the last time that I was seriously and happily working. I’m happy to be a programmer again for once. I’ve almost forgotten the joy of writing codes, of flaunting my pathetic 4th language – asp. my 3rd language is Vulgar.
My brain is with me today instead of sitting at the doorway.
I’m half zen again.

As long as somebodies leave me alone.

Heardings, Sightings and other Ramblings

If sighthings meant seeing something interesting, then hearing something interesting must be called heardings huh?

“…Your company is a circus!! Do you know what is a circus? It has elephants and monkeys!!! Your company is also a joke! Do you know what is a joke??…” – Mr XXX GM of a certain company to a technician servicing their machines

"If there were a cobra and an indian in front of you, who will you kill first?" - Mr xxx of a certain company. A racist statement but nonetheless funny if you take it with a pinch of salt

“Whine and dine is a new concept of life. It’s whining about being fat then continuing to eat” – Me

"I've never been hungry before in my life! I wanna know how being hungry feels like." - Tashes and another of her weird comments. I've been hungry before. The first time I felt hunger, I thought I was dying and my stomach was splitting open till my mum came and said "Aiyah! You're just hungry lah!! You're not dying!!"

Taken from my friend's blog. In number 9 of her top 10 wishlist she wishes for "Lotsof family & Friends" I'm seriously wondering about how she is going to achieve that? Marrying a guy with a huge family, marrying many men (Tashes) or simply having many many babies? Needa ask her later *Deep in thought* Ok ok, Tashes is complaining. She said she specifically says 3 men *ahem*.

Now...another question comes to mind. If we were to marry lotsa people - you know by divorcing - and have kids with many different people, won't the entire world ultimately be 1 big family?

Some strange facts of life

"How can you call a person that dumps you, makes you sad and most probably kick you in the butt when you’re kneeling down be the one that brings you happiness?" My colleague sitting next to me complained to me – btw she’s called Tashes and she didn't exactly say that. "I'm such an idiot sometimes that I wish I were an Apple product so I could be cool, white, slim and sleek" - Me "Stress. Suddenly nothing is within your control and everything is out of your control" - Me “I wish I can be like coffee – Tashes’s guinea pig – she's skinny but people thinks she’s fat!” – Tashes Hallo??!! I wanna be fat and let people think I’m skinny!!

Of Hippos and Hoppos

Finally...I'm able to really start on my blog. I've been counting down since the time I stepped into the office - at approximately 8:30am - till now. OUCH!!! Damn damn damn damn damn!!! I just scratched the inside of my ear with my nail!?!?!?! ARGH!!! What kind of a dork am I??? The stupidest kind!!! &*%$&$#^&^% OK! OK! back to my blog &*%$&$ Start writing something for goodness's sake instead cursing and swearing. Hmm...what to write? Should I write about my dream last night where I spent the whole night catching birds of all kinds, big and small? Or the guy who I “spied” on the train while he was having a wet dream as Tashes put it. Ah...talking about the dream, I suddenly felt that there must be a big huge reason for me having that dream. I've been feeling so full of myself since I can't remember when. Full of butt, full of stomach, full of thighs. It must have been my sub conscious self exercising on the behalf of my entirely conscious mind. *nods head in agreement* No wonder I'm feeling so tired today. Wow! I wonder if I have this kind of dream for a month straight, would I be able to lose 3 kgs? Anyway, gals are strange – I’m one of them. First they complain that they’re fat then they say they’re hungry. Then when given a can of soup, they'll say it’s too much work to open it up and boil and etc when they actually need some kind of exercise – any kind!! *Still wondering if that dream last night was a kind of exercise* And in any case, I've almost given up hope on losing weight coz I realized that I've already admitted and resigned myself to being hoppo. Yeah...Hoppo from Wuzzles. She looks and behaves exactly like me so how can I not resign myself to my fate? No. No. No. No. No. 5 straight nos that I won’t make this blog a diet diary coz I’ll be too upset to know that I have not lost any kind of weight at all at the end of it. *munching cupcakes* Gotta write something else next time. Weighty issues are always depressing and I find myself extremely depressed. Hmmm....if I get really depressed as in physically depressed, would that count as losing weight? I really wanna eat some chocolates now :( BTW I just realized, thanks to Tashes that there's really no greener grass on the other side unless you UP the colors in a picture - of grass - with some software. Remember folks!! No greener grass on other side alright. Hoppo hopping off

A Rejected Article

My PC hung big time when I was writing my first ever blog last night so in place of it, I'll publish an article that I sent to Cleo once but was never published - for people who didn't believe the PC thingy, someone who's name starts with M and ends with E :( Do you remember those days when your male friend or colleague showed you immense interest and started calling you, making dates and showering you with gifts and undivided attention. Then, finally after much “consideration” and all, became your boyfriend? Well I do not. For some reason, our courtship was almost non-existent. In the time we’ve known each other, we hardly ever went out, alone or in a group. We were friendly, that’s all. In fact, our lone dates, if they were meant to be dates at all, can be counted using a single hand. Although, we did get friendlier through mutual friends, our feelings were mutual as well - friendly that’s all. Even when he did eventually get attracted to me for reasons still unknown, he did not call me. Instead, he helped piled both our hand phone bills to the sky by holding conversations with me through sms, almost everyday. He later admitted to me that he thought it was impossible to talk to me on the phone because he felt that I was too weird! Indeed, we only got to know each other on a higher level when he was posted overseas. For that month, we communicate intensively through emails averaging 6 emails a day. However, what happens next was almost a blur and abruptly, we were an item from right out of nowhere. Perhaps due to the rush of a new love, the missing courtship just weren’t in our minds. All we knew was that we both made a great decision to get together and are enjoying every minute of it, until well meaning family and friends started asking for our courtship stories. In order to cover up the embarrassment of the truth, we would usually change the topic and hope the question is never raised again. Suddenly, the missing stage in our relationship became a jarring reminder of a deprivation to my female ego. I longed to be like other girls out there who went through the courting phases. I too would like to deluge in a sea of affection and attention while slowly moving towards nodding my head to couple hood. All these then led to a series of whines and whimpers, directing at my boyfriend’s ears. My sweet but rather tactless at times, boyfriend even blurted out that courtship is the most enjoyable part of a relationship. Those heart thumping dinner and movie dates, late night talks on the phone, gifts and silly gestures in addition to the is she or is she not interested mind games all contributed to the excitement. It’s like seeing a plant you so carefully nurture slowly grew to full bloom. He then carried on to tell me on different occasions examples of the things he did during courtship for his previous girlfriends and only became quite embarrassed after I pointed out to him that I was never on the receiving end of any of the things he mentioned. In order to save face, he then lamely tried to cover up by insisting that sms messages and emails were part of courtship as well. Undeniably, technology did played a major part in our relationship and emails certainly provided a new way for people to talk more openly about matters that they are unable to in the face - which was what speed up our relationship in the first place. However it also took away the elements of sincerity and romance that existed in courtships, the old fashioned way. I was so bothered by it that I shocked him by quite seriously suggesting that maybe we should make a clean break and start all over again so I could enjoy those moments. However, I had to admit that my boyfriend was right. There’s no way we could go back to that stage again especially when we’ve already met our families, fishes and tortoises. Even if we could, the very ingredients that make courtship fun would be missing anyhow. Now, instead of whining on and on about an irreversible fact, I started to appreciate even more the things my boyfriend does for me. That is because I know he’s trying his very best to make up for whatever he thought that I was “deprived” of. Like a really lucky, lucky draw, we plunged our hands into the bin and pick each other up. What happened next, were a really sweet and amazing 7 months and counting. Deprived? To a certain extend maybe however, I contend myself with the knowledge that I’m enjoying something like an extended version of that courtship right into our relationship and that due to this “guilt” of his, I’ll be able to enjoy these feelings perhaps longer than other people. Courtship might be important but what that truly matters, is the relationship itself after all. Would I give it all up for a rewind and a wind of courtship? Not in a million years, for a million bucks...