A Rejected Article

My PC hung big time when I was writing my first ever blog last night so in place of it, I'll publish an article that I sent to Cleo once but was never published - for people who didn't believe the PC thingy, someone who's name starts with M and ends with E :( Do you remember those days when your male friend or colleague showed you immense interest and started calling you, making dates and showering you with gifts and undivided attention. Then, finally after much “consideration” and all, became your boyfriend? Well I do not. For some reason, our courtship was almost non-existent. In the time we’ve known each other, we hardly ever went out, alone or in a group. We were friendly, that’s all. In fact, our lone dates, if they were meant to be dates at all, can be counted using a single hand. Although, we did get friendlier through mutual friends, our feelings were mutual as well - friendly that’s all. Even when he did eventually get attracted to me for reasons still unknown, he did not call me. Instead, he helped piled both our hand phone bills to the sky by holding conversations with me through sms, almost everyday. He later admitted to me that he thought it was impossible to talk to me on the phone because he felt that I was too weird! Indeed, we only got to know each other on a higher level when he was posted overseas. For that month, we communicate intensively through emails averaging 6 emails a day. However, what happens next was almost a blur and abruptly, we were an item from right out of nowhere. Perhaps due to the rush of a new love, the missing courtship just weren’t in our minds. All we knew was that we both made a great decision to get together and are enjoying every minute of it, until well meaning family and friends started asking for our courtship stories. In order to cover up the embarrassment of the truth, we would usually change the topic and hope the question is never raised again. Suddenly, the missing stage in our relationship became a jarring reminder of a deprivation to my female ego. I longed to be like other girls out there who went through the courting phases. I too would like to deluge in a sea of affection and attention while slowly moving towards nodding my head to couple hood. All these then led to a series of whines and whimpers, directing at my boyfriend’s ears. My sweet but rather tactless at times, boyfriend even blurted out that courtship is the most enjoyable part of a relationship. Those heart thumping dinner and movie dates, late night talks on the phone, gifts and silly gestures in addition to the is she or is she not interested mind games all contributed to the excitement. It’s like seeing a plant you so carefully nurture slowly grew to full bloom. He then carried on to tell me on different occasions examples of the things he did during courtship for his previous girlfriends and only became quite embarrassed after I pointed out to him that I was never on the receiving end of any of the things he mentioned. In order to save face, he then lamely tried to cover up by insisting that sms messages and emails were part of courtship as well. Undeniably, technology did played a major part in our relationship and emails certainly provided a new way for people to talk more openly about matters that they are unable to in the face - which was what speed up our relationship in the first place. However it also took away the elements of sincerity and romance that existed in courtships, the old fashioned way. I was so bothered by it that I shocked him by quite seriously suggesting that maybe we should make a clean break and start all over again so I could enjoy those moments. However, I had to admit that my boyfriend was right. There’s no way we could go back to that stage again especially when we’ve already met our families, fishes and tortoises. Even if we could, the very ingredients that make courtship fun would be missing anyhow. Now, instead of whining on and on about an irreversible fact, I started to appreciate even more the things my boyfriend does for me. That is because I know he’s trying his very best to make up for whatever he thought that I was “deprived” of. Like a really lucky, lucky draw, we plunged our hands into the bin and pick each other up. What happened next, were a really sweet and amazing 7 months and counting. Deprived? To a certain extend maybe however, I contend myself with the knowledge that I’m enjoying something like an extended version of that courtship right into our relationship and that due to this “guilt” of his, I’ll be able to enjoy these feelings perhaps longer than other people. Courtship might be important but what that truly matters, is the relationship itself after all. Would I give it all up for a rewind and a wind of courtship? Not in a million years, for a million bucks...