Choice

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I don't wanna make any excuses, however this, I believe is me. Some things freak me out. As in really really freak me out. I don't wanna change myself to fit the world coz I know I can't. I can't change myself, not for you coz I don't wanna have to be someone I'm not in front of the person I should be most comfortable with.

I spent years of my life being strange just coz I do not fit into this real world. It is a terrible feeling. I'm like the anti model of a normal human being. I thought, you can accept me as I am. However, I believe I'm wearing you out just as you are driving me up the wall.

I'm retreating coz I cannot forward. It's not that I do not want to. I know one day I will fail again and it will ultimately bring about more disappointment from you, as other people before you. Myself, I do not like failures.

Emotional roller coaster is a scary thing. Mine went up high this morning and crashed to break my pride. I don't know what I'm hoping for. You're already wore out. You'll not be here reading this. I'm not giving up, I just wanna help you, give you the choice you need. I don't want to be the emotional vampire that sucks you dry. If you wanna leave, it is your choice. I blame no one.